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7.19.2015

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Escape from the Man-Sized Cabinet: Mini Review

     While we await Stephen Colbert's return to television since departing from The Cobert Report in December, his new show has given us a few small bits of entertainment to pass the time.  The Late Show with Stephen Colbert's newest morsel of digital snackery is a text-based game called Escape from the Man-Sized Cabinet.


     It's a simple game involving a magical cabinet that is totally not-even-close to being anything like that other famous wardrobe that leads to a magical land named Narnia.  You play as Colbert as he traps himself in the man-sized cabinet and you must use your Colbert-powered wits to escape the clutches of an evil wizard in an enchanted cabinet land.

     The text-based adventure-slash-Stephen-Colbert-simulator game has all the right ingredients.  It has Stephen Colbert, a man-sized cabinet, a frosted-skull castle, and a key!  I mean, really, what more could you want from a video game?

One possible outcome...
     When you get right down to it, Escape from the Man-Sized Cabinet is the perfect 15 minutes of textual hilarity.

     To play the game [ Escape from the Man-Sized Cabinet ]

     The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is set to premiere Sept. 8th, 2015 on CBS.

     Source [ Colbert Late Show ]

7.13.2015

Gassy Mob: Farting Your Way to Victory

     Jaewoo Jeon has created a hilarious game by taking something that everyone does, and making it playable.  The player's purpose in Gassy Mob is to eat, run around, and fart on people, offend as many noses as you can, gain their ire, and then have them chase you to your flatulent doom.  
     It sounds absolutely delightful!


     According to the game's Bitsummit page, the official summary is:
Gassy Mob is a simple Pac-Man style arcade game for iOS.
Gorge yourself, fart on NPCs, and get a high score. But make sure you stay one step ahead of the mob!
The unique gassy gameplay delivers fantastic farting arcade action.
So let's fart!
     Simply farting on these unsuspecting victims is not enough- your goal is to consume the most stomach-churning, bowel-roiling foods you can and proceed to drop monstrous olfactory bombs on the maximum number of people as possible before their collective group hate descends upon you, and thus thwarting your aromatic attacks.  

     Jeon is shooting for a September release of Gassy Mob on iOS, and about "two months later" on Android devices.

     Source [ Wired ]

7.09.2015

Futurama: A Mobile Game is Coming Soon!

     Fans can rejoice, a strange and wonderful website has appeared touting the coming of an official game based on the beloved cult sci fi hit TV show Futurama.

"KILL ALL HUMANS     ...ON THE GO!"
     This is all the information we have been given.  A very ambiguous statement and a single image of Bender in a call to arms against the flesh-bags referred to as humans.  But, as a fan, this is more than enough to immediately think of the "Shut up and Take My Money!" meme.  My money shall be waiting.

     To receive updates sign up on their official site [ Play Futurama ]

7.06.2015

Kung Fury: Street Rage: Review

     Kung Fury: Street Rage is a video game based off a crowdfunded short-film homage devoted to the nostalgic glory of everything 80's.  The game, however, narrowly misses the mark.


     For all that this game captures the essence of the 80's coin-op arcade machines in both appearance and sound design, it loses all that magic with extremely shallow gameplay.  Instead of a real brawler or beat em' up this rightfully should've been, we get a single revolving screen with 2 attack buttons in order to create one giant combo.  Attack right or attack left.  If you tap it and move without hitting something, or getting hit yourself, will cause you to lose the combo meter.  The simplistic mechanics hold the game back from grasping the grandeur of becoming a modern classic- a game worthy of the name it hearkens to- Streets of Rage.

     Being a free game, it can't be too harshly judged.  The visuals and sounds are absolutely stunning.  It's just that the game gives you a small taste of something wonderful, and then you find that the first nibble was actually the entire meal.  Kung Fury: Street Rage calls back to the brawler and beat em' up genres, and only delves into the beginnings of the game it could've been.  It leaves out all the depth it should've contained.

     As it is, Kung Fury: Street Rage is merely a simple, forgettable fighter.  One can only hope this is merely a test run on the way to producing a truly memorable game.  All the building blocks are here, just waiting to be put to better use.

     To watch the 80's homage [ Kung Fury ]

7.02.2015

Xenowerk: Short Review: A Twin-Stick Mutant Slaughter-Fest! (for iOS and Android)

     Pixelbite games, creators of the great game Space Marshals, have now brought us a brilliant twin-stick shooter with a very basic premise- kill all of the mutants.  In their newest game, Xenowerk, the protagonist is sent into an underground laboratory to find out what happened and slay everything that isn't human through each consecutive descending level, which is quite literally, everything that is still moving.
As an added bonus there are achievements for destroying vending machines.
     The game has a very Dead Space feel to it, but that works for it very well in its favor.  Xenowerk is loaded with dark corridors and cramped areas swarming with mutated things trying to kill you.  The levels begin with small amounts of mutants infesting the area, and by the end you are slaying hordes of them, ranging from small creatures to giant tank-ish brutes.  Throughout the player's journey the mutants slowly gain their own new abilities, allowing for cloaking and acid-spitting.  Giving this an added boost is the wonderful lighting effects.  Because a lot of the compound is in the dark, the lighting comes from a weapon-mounted flashlight the player aims.  It really adds a lot to the tone and it spectacular when using a flamethrower to blow up generators- the explosions look amazing for a mobile game.

     Xenowork features 50 levels filled with one of three basic tasks for your very Samas Aran looking heroine- kill specific mutations, blow up equipment, or retrieve data from computer terminals and then get to the elevator and exit the floor.  It offers very repetitive missions and gameplay, but the entertainment value somehow manages to make the fun last throughout all of them.
Nice Mutant vs. Ninja sign. (and chalk outline in the bottom corner.)
     Along the way, you slowly accrue money to spend on gaining newer and more powerful weaponry and armor.  Every new type of armor offers new abilities that may be unlocked by getting a kill streak.  The powers start with a healing burst to regenerate health, but expand to give players a flash freeze, a speed boost, or damage increase.  The weapons to choose from come in quite a wide variety to welcome a multitude of play styles.  There are assault rifles, machine guns, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, an electricity weapon, and even a gun that fires bullets that ricochet around.
     Each weapon can also gain levels by picking up blue gear drops from killing a bevy of mutants throughout the floors.  Lowering the overheating time, increasing damage, or adding to the rate of fire speed.

     Xenowerk is the simplest of run-and-gun shooters, but it is also an incredibly fun one.  It can be a bit monotonous at times, because most of the levels and enemies look relatively the same, but the consistent action and immersive atmosphere pull you in and make up for it.  Xenowerk is a great mutant slaying horror-adventure.  With the way the story ends, I really hope there is either an add-on expansion or a sequel.  There's always room for more mutant slaughtering.